


Wine Is The Only Thing Keeping Us Sane

by Artemis_The_Moon_Goddess21



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, M/M, Team Mom Sugawara Koushi, Team Mom Yaku Morisuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_The_Moon_Goddess21/pseuds/Artemis_The_Moon_Goddess21
Summary: Suga took a long sip, shoulders slumping a bit.“Those first years, huh.”Suga sighed. “Yeah…”Or, Suga and Yaku are wine moms
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42
Collections: One-Shot Goldmine





	Wine Is The Only Thing Keeping Us Sane

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on this platform. Constructive criticism is welcome, as are corrections on my grammar and whatnot. That being said, please be nice. Also, this is the result of a conversation between me and my friend about the part during season 4 where Suga calls Hinata and energetic brat. This is not meant to be serious. It was just an idea that I found hilarious. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the story. Also, it's rated Teens for the tiny amount of swearing. Seriously, it's only like, three words. 
> 
> I'm not sure about the rules in other countries, but where I live, if you're on private property, it's allowed so long as the host permits it. Again, this is purely for entertainment.

Suga was exhausted. He was stressed, he was annoyed, and he was in desperate need of a glass of wine.

“Hinata you dumbass-”

“Oh, shut up Kageyama!”

He sighed. Really, couldn’t the first year duo go a full day without arguing? The team was spending the next two weeks at a private training camp in Tokyo with Nekoma and Fukurodani. After hours of drills and practice games, Hinata and Kageyama were still going. Hinata got distracted and missed a spike, hence causing the argument that was currently happening.

Suga watched as Hinata tackled Kageyama and sent them both rolling across the ground, screaming at each other.

“Ok you two,” Tanaka chuckled nervously. “That’s enough now.”

They ignored him. Suga glanced over at Daichi, who looked about three seconds away from exploding like Mt. Vesuvius. The other first and second years backed away cautiously. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Goddammit, stop hitting me, dumbass-”

“Enough!”

The room went silent. The coaches stared, shocked. Nobody moved in fear of invoking Suga’s wrath.

He marched over and grabbed Hinata and Kageyama by the backs of their shirts, dragging them to their feet.

“I have had it up to here with you. You’re acting like toddlers. Actually, no. Toddlers are better behaved than you two. You are 16 years old. Start acting like it.” He snapped.

He turned to the coaches. “Can’t take them anywhere.” He muttered under his breath.

He forced them into a bow. “I’m so sorry about their behavior,” he apologized. He turned towards Hinata and Kageyama. “Clean the gym”

They started protesting. Taking a look at the state of the room, one could understand why. Balls were strewn everywhere, the cart was knocked over, the net was partly on the ground and empty water bottles littered the floor.

Suga cut them off with a hard look

“You make a mess, you clean it up. Might wanna hurry up or you won’t get any dinner too.”

And with that, he spun on his heels and walked out of the room, the rest of the team and coaches following after a moment's hesitation.

Hinata and Kageyama sighed and went to start putting away the net.

Suga slumped onto the couch late that night.

“The problem children?” Yaku asked with a knowing laugh. He groaned.

“I swear, they’re gonna put me in an early grave”

Yaku smirked. “You want a glass of wine? One of the coaches left a bottle in the cupboard”

He paused, then scrambled off the couch.

A couple of minutes later, the two settled back with very full glasses of wine.

Suga took a long sip, shoulders slumping a bit.

“Those first years, huh.”

Suga sighed. “Yeah…”

That night, he lay in bed, scrolling through Facebook. No, Kageyama, Facebook isn’t dead. Nor is it for old people, go to sleep.

Suga opened a Facebook chat with some other people he’d met online. While they talked about anything and everything together, most of their conversations end up with them ranting about their kids.

And while Suga was not Karasuno’s mother, not by any means, they experience similar circumstances daily and usually, someone has tricks to deal with it.

For example, @christmasismynightmare37, also known as Hina, had an issue with her kid where he kept almost running onto the road. There have been too many instances where Hinata has almost been hit by a car. Hina said she’d read online that explaining to them what would happen should they be hit by a car and then praising them if they listen is what worked for her, and sure enough, a couple of months later and Hinata rarely ran onto the road anymore.

The next day, things seemed calmer. At least, no one wanted to face Suga’s anger again. The team mom was terrifying when he wanted to be. The day after was the same.

Unfortunately, the calm could only last for so long.

It was the fourth day of training camp. They were doing serve drills, and, of course, Kageyama and Hinata were competing about something. Suga wasn’t sure he wanted to know what it was they were competing on this time.

After a couple of minutes, the competition delved into an argument, as usual. Thankfully, they hadn’t attacked each other. Yet.

Suga sighed through his nose. _Why couldn’t they have **one** day of peace…_

Unfortunately for Suga, the day only got worse from there. Tanaka and Noya were yelling all throughout lunch. Tsukishima kept egging on Kageyama. Hinata took a ball to the face during a practice game with Fukurodani. The list goes on. By the time dinner rolled around, the ashen-haired man was ready for the day to be over. And maybe a glass of wine. One look at Yaku and he could tell the libero was the same.

He was drawn out of his thoughts by Yamamoto yelling at Tanaka. Something about Tanaka being super manly, Suga wasn’t quite sure. Everyone had turned to stare at the commotion. Yaku’s eye started twitching.

This continued for a few more minutes until they started sobbing and hugging. That was when Yaku lost his shit.

He slammed his hand on the table.

“SHUT UP,” he yelled, murder in his eyes. “STOP ACTING LIKE BABIES AND HAVE SOME MANNERS!”

“Uh… Yaku? I think you need to calm down,” Kuroo said nervously. Yaku’s head whipped to face him.

“Do not tell me to calm down,” he snarled. Kuroo nodded quickly, eyes wide. Lev appeared to be trying to make himself smaller, sinking down in his seat.

“And for god's sake Lev, sit up properly!” Lev went ramrod straight. It seemed Nekoma had realized that disobeying Yaku meant certain death.

He turned back to Yamamoto. “If you make me raise my voice at you one more time, I’ll drag you to your room by your ears. Am I clear?” He narrowed his eyes.

Yamamoto whimpered. “Y-yes senpai”

Everybody watched in silence as Yaku stormed out. The room was silent.

“I’ve never seen Yaku-san so mad…” Lev said quietly.

“I thought he was going to kill me on the spot,” Yamamoto agreed.

A minute or two later, Yaku came marching back with two glasses filled to the top with red wine. Nobody moved.

The libero sat down next to Suga, placed a glass down in front of him, and took a huge gulp of his own.

“I swear, it’s like herding cats,” Yaku groaned.  
Suga nodded in agreement, taking a careful sip of his wine and ignoring everyone's eyes on them.

“Tell me about it”

“Uh, Yaku?” Coach Nekomata chuckled nervously. “What are you two drinking?”

Yaku maintained direct eye contact. “It’s wine.” The coach looked as if he wanted to say something, but Yaku cut him off with a raised eyebrow. “Is there an issue?”

Nekomata shook his head.

“Good”

“I wonder if anyone on Facebook has any advice for dealing with kids like them,” he mulled.

Yaku laughed. “Probably. The moms on that chat seem to have solutions for every type of kid”

“Um…” Noya spoke up. “What Facebook chat?”

Suga turned to him. At this point, he was done being nice. Fuck that.

“The Facebook chat for mothers that Morisuke-kun and I are a part of”

“You’re part of a Facebook chat for mothers…?” Tanaka asked?

“Yes,” Yaku snapped. “Because most days we act like your mothers. Honestly, you all are a group of children.”

“With the exception of Akaashi and Daichi,” Suga added. “They actually know how to act their age.”

“Suga?” Akaashi said from his table. “Could you add me to this chat? My team is a lot more childish than people seem to believe.”

Suga nodded. “Of course. Hold on a sec.”

He pulled out his phone and quickly added Akaashi.

“There”

“Thanks.”

Yaku downed the rest of his glass. “We have more wine if you’d like to join us outside.”

“You’re all underage!” Takeda yelped.

Suga shook his head. “We’re on private property. And Yaku and I are 18.” He stood up and turned to Akaashi ”You coming?”

He nodded and stood up to join Suga.

Yaku turned over his shoulder and called out to his team. ”You all better be ready for bed by the time we come back in or I’ll have you running laps all day tomorrow.”

“You too Karasuno!” Suga said cheerfully. The three of them left to go discuss the best ways to deal with their teammates.

The room was still for a moment, so silent you could hear dust settle, as the words of the team mothers set in. Once they did, everybody scrambled to start cleaning up. Nobody wanted to anger the third years who had four things. Power over their captains, wine, access to knives, and murderous tendencies.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that just happened. I hope you liked it!


End file.
